Cats

 

I would like to introduce everyone to the furry-four-legged-poop-machines that live in my house with me... The orange one is Mel who I have taken to call "Orange" now a days and the fat one that she is sitting on is Monk who I now call "Fatty". I never thought that having cats would be such a wonderful pain in the ass at times though I love them to death I sometimes wish I could turn them into handbags! Fancy handbags for rich old women from the Bronx with to much time and money on their hands.

Monk just wants you to love him... all the time! In the morning when I wake up I tend to sit on the couch I am still asleep really the bone move cause the nerves tell them to but really I could still be half awake for at least another ten minutes if not more. Anyway, Monk always I mean always try to get in my lap or on my side or in face just purring away like he was drunk on just seeing me move again... I hate this! I am trying to wake up and the last thing I need is cat butt and god-know-when o'clock every morning. 

Mel is a ninja warrior princess and will attack anything smaller or slightly larger then herself and if she can she will eat it. Mel often attacks Monk who is twice her size but guess who almost always wins... Mel the smaller cat who I am sure Monk could just punt across the room if he wanted to but he just take it like a man... or an abused boyfriend. She also chirps like a bird which is cute at first but it will drive you crazy after a while especially at five in the morning when you're just trying to get some sleep. 

Cat...